Duo's Thanksgiving
by Sailor Gemini
Summary: Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! Duo tries to save thanksgiving for the g-boys... Please R


This is dedicated to my friend Roger, and while at the Dollar Store told me all about his plans for future Thanksgiving. Let's just say Duo and Roger aren't all that different..  
  
Duo sat in the chair swinging his legs back and forth. Yay! It was finally Turkey Day. Trowa would be back with the Turkey soon. After a few minutes, Duo got impatient, and went around looking at all Quatre's antiques. The door slammed, and then opened again softly. Yay! They were home!! Duo ran into the living room, to see an empty handed Quatre and a Heero that was trying to set Trowa's arm.  
  
"That's so disturbing, you two! Would you PLEASE not do that around me?" Quatre asked his eyes shut tight.  
  
"What happened, Koi?" Duo asked, looking up at Heero.  
  
"Trowa," grunt, "got in a fight," grunt "with an old lady" grunt "for the last turkey," grunt "and" grunt, "lost."  
  
A loud popping sound was heard, and Quatre danced around the room, yelling, "EW EW EW EW EW EW!"  
  
Duo's chin wobbled. "So, no Turkey day?" he asked.  
  
Trowa shook his head no.  
  
"Aw, man!" he started sulking and made his way into the den where he became a channel surfer for a while. Nothing seemed to interest the heart-broken young man. He was about to turn the TV. off, when a commercial caught his eye.  
  
"Wow Dad!" the young girl on the T.V. said. "This macaroni is good!"  
  
"That's because I made it with Spam!" the smiley father said.  
  
Then the wife spoke up. "Spam! Wow! This is good. I think I'll have some more! Aww, there's none left!"  
  
A big bleeping sound was heard and all of a sudden a car came through the wall. Duo started giggling.  
  
"No Spam?" One of the passengers asked. "Here you go!" They handed them a small can brandishing the name "SPAM!"  
  
The commercial ended with everyone smiling happily, and Duo giggling. An idea had struck him.  
  
He walked into the living room where all the boys were sitting, discussing something.  
  
As if him walking in had put a cessation to the conversation, all eight eyes looked at him. He was slightly unnerved at the spookiness of their eyes. He cleared his throat.  
  
"What do you want, Maxwell?" Wufei asked.  
  
"I have an idea of how to save Thanksgiving," Duo said, confidently.  
  
"And that would be?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Just let me take care of it. How about you all visit the doctors. Hey! Invite them to our dinner!! It'll be fun!" Heero took one look at his koibito standing there, begging them all for a chance.  
  
"I don't know if we should let him," Heero started cautiously.  
  
"Yeah," Wufei seconded him. "Remember that time? The one where he caught the house on fire?"  
  
"Chang, he's done that numerous times. Be a little more specific."  
  
"The putting the bowl of cereal in the microwave incident."  
  
A chorus of "oh" and "yeah" filled the room and Duo pouted.  
  
"Please?" he asked, his chin wobbling, and his violet eyes filling with tears.  
  
"Fine," Quatre said. "You can try to save Thanksgiving."  
  
"I need twenty bucks," he told them, and Quatre sweat dropped.  
  
Ten minutes later, Duo stood in front of the Dollar Tree. They HAD to have Spam here! He looked at the sign on the door. "Open 24 hours." It was open. The other grocery stores had been closed. He walked in and looked at the creepy man with long brown hair, and a big nose. His piercing black eyes followed his every move, and Duo wrapped his coat around himself.  
  
He went over to the meat isle, and saw a bunch of tiny cans of processed meet. He kneeled and looked over to where the Spam should be. But, alas, they had none!! He almost started crying until something caught his eye. In a Spam container shape, sat a picture of this meet that looked just like it.  
  
Duo picked it up and read the title. "Potted Meat Food Product." Hmmmm. Sounded interesting. He read the ingredients. Some of which said, "Beef Hearts, Partially defatted fatty tissue, less than two percent mustard."  
  
"Perfect!" He grabbed twenty cans, laid five bucks on the counter and left smiling happily.  
  
When he got home, he went into the kitchen, and started the next part of his plan. He emptied all the "meat" into a bowl, and stuck his fingers in it. He made a face as it squished between his fingers. He giggled, and said, "Like canned cat food!" He put a handful on the plate and started to mold it.  
  
Twenty minutes later, he had half of it done, and it looked like a retarded turkey butt. He thought a moment and remembered the stuffing that was supposed to go inside. After wiping his hands on his shirt, he opened the fridge to see a bottle of ketchup and bubblegum. He giggled insanely and pulled these items out. He mixed them together and squirted them into the turkey. He put the rest of the turkey together, and smiled happily down at his creation.  
  
What was actually there was a turkey that only a mother could love, thus Duo's smile. It was this pinkish gross looking meat that had bubbles and black spots throughout it. There was ketchup seeping through onto the table. Duo picked up his creation carefully and shoved it into the microwave, after finding it wouldn't fit in the toaster-oven. He set it on high for three minutes, and set the table. He poured sake into cups and called the rest of the boys.  
  
He noticed they hadn't gotten the doctors, and glared at them.  
  
Heero sniffed. "Well, Duo," he said. "It smells. interesting."  
  
He took his "turkey" out of the microwave and put it in the center of the table.  
  
It had a few burn spots on it, and the boys looked at it in wonder.  
  
"It's not turkey, is it?" Quatre asked, poking it with his fork. He was surprised when it went all the way in and pulled out with pinkish meat on it. He sniffed it. "Duo?" he asked.  
  
"What?" He asked, cheerfully.  
  
"Is it Spam?"  
  
"Nope!! It's potted meat food product!"  
  
"Let's order pizza," Trowa wisely suggested.  
  
"But. but guys!" Duo sat with his creation by himself and took a bite. He covered his mouth with one hand and ran to the bathroom holding his stomach.  
  
All the guys watched Duo's retreating back, and then turned to each other. Heero handed Quatre the phone. "Ok, we want five large pizzas.."  
  
  
  
  
  
Authors note: Hi guys!! I know this is completely disgusting, but it's a fun fic. Completely dedicated to Roger. Now, I know how disgusting this sounds, but "Potted Meat Food Product" is real and Roger and I found it at the dollar store. (Rowen: **raunch**) Kuroi_gami: HEY!!!!!!!!! This is Setsuki's sister!!! There really is "potted meat food product" I've seen it!!! It's liquidey!!! EWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Read my stories! 1x2 4-ever!!! Author: ((again)) I don't own anything in this story.. (Rowen: Well.she did buy one of those "Potted meat."etc.s =D) Dear God, give me the keyboard back!! Ok. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!!! 


End file.
